DAY 1: LOVE YOUR SCARS
I just came home from a late night drive from work and it feels like that was the longest travel of my life. I was silent the entire time; I did not turn on the radio and just let my thoughts rushed through. January 2012 will be over after tonight and I am looking forward to a better month to come. Maybe I got consumed with my thoughts and didn’t notice that the car is moving sluggish. I then looked at the rearview mirror to check if someone is ready to honk at me. I found darkness… profound darkness and then my face slowly registered in the mirror.
She looked tired but fulfilled. Beautiful yet scared.
Girl on the mirror ang drama mga ate but I promise this will get better as it progresses. Yes, that girl that I saw took me away from that seemingly endless road to my apartment and back to my freshman college days. No, I won’t give you a day-to-day journal of what transpired during my entire first year at college rather I want to share something, one particular experience that changed my entire life.
One day I woke up with a very big pimple on my right cheek. The following day it tripled until I realized that my entire cheeks were covered with those ugly bumps. The statement “I have pimples” just won’t fit me anymore. I have acne... and thank God it was worst. I struggled for years, being asked questions, how on earth did I catch such problem and where on earth do I find the solution. I tried derma hopping; acne product switching until I recognized that spending hard-earned money from my parent’s pocket is not practical anymore. I stopped searching for the right medication and just let the problem passed by even if it will take long. I graduated… acnes were not severe anymore. I had my first job… then got my first salary. I gave my first full salary to my mother and waited for the next salary. Second salary came, I kept the half. I have to save half of my salary each month until I accumulated an ample amount of cash to send myself to a good dermatologist. Finally, acnes were gone but they must love me so much and decided to give me a remembrance: deep pitted scars. They are not the regular scars that pimples often create. Mine are special, as I recall my Derma saying. They penetrated the deepest layer of my skin thus dermabrasion, derma roller, laser surgery won’t do any good.
I tried my luck and spent money over ways of eliminating my scars. I failed.
The advancement of technology finally gave me hope. I’ve heard of derma fillers, they are made to fill in deep scars and make them less visible. I admit I am tempted to try my luck again but a part of me says that I have learned to love my scars. Proud perhaps is a strong word to use but I think I am proud of my scars. They are the living proof that one can still be beautiful after a hard experience. They are here to remind me that I struggled and survived. Struggled the ridicules of others and survived my own insecurities. These scars made me stronger. I tell you it is not easy to face mocking faces and hurtful words like: “sayanga sa imo face oi pero sige lang dili man halata kaau”. It is not easy to mingle with rude people, taking pictures of you, purposely focusing on your flaws and sharing it to others. And now that you know, please be mindful of your actions and words. You don’t want to destroy someone’s confidence, self-worth or most evil, life.
And for all of you who got visible scars, ever a day that you feel ashamed? Think about this: Some scars purposely don’t fade... they won’t. Sometimes all you need is a change in perspective in order to change the way you live your life. As for me, my scars are my simple reminders of the day that we have to skip Noche Buena in favor of my derma session and that every Noche Buena thereafter will be very abundant. These scars became my motivating force to save up, to pay back and be forever thankful to my family who shared my burden, to treasure friends who say that I am beautiful inside and out, to stand proud so that no one can ever bully me, and most of all these scars made me realized my purpose for existence and that is BEAUTY. MY PURPOSE IS TO MAKE EVERYTHING BEAUTIFUL.
It is getting late and I must end this post with a quote from Madame Jynx, SCARS BUILD CHARACTER, SHOW THAT I HAVE LIVED, SHOW THAT I HAVE HEALED, THAT I AM REAL.
Love your scars.. emotional or physical and learn to accept them.
Others may think they’re ugly but what the heck tell them “mosugot na lang ko mapuno ug pimple marks akong face bsta dli lang ta mag ilis ug nawong” :D Chill! Happy FEB IBIG!!!
