Let's Talk About (Clears Throat) Marriage

Let me point this out: I am not the sleeping-with-someone-but-not-actually-in-a-relationship-er’ type of being or a cynic who don’t believe with till death do us part Okay, the latter I might consider a half-lie but cynic is too strong of a word to describe me. UNBELIEVER? Perhaps.  

The institution of marriage is NOT FOR ME, not at my age, not at my current state, not with this kind of mind-set. 

I vehemently declare this to all my friends, family, enemies and all random acquaintances who are pretty much convinced of my maturity for the role… as a wife and as a mother. Well, I thank all of you who think that way but the whole idea of marriage just puts my teeth on edge and I refuse to be like other brides that have no business marrying the guy they’re engaged to.

The reason of this rant/confession/manic talking lies mainly of the constant festering of the people around me.

That I am not getting any younger…

That MR. RIGHT is already there and I should not let some other girls snatched him away from me… What the??? If he can be taken away from me with some random girls then he is not Mr. Right!

That I am the perfect candidate for marriage because of my mental stability, financial capacity and emotional well-being… (ehem!)

Yes, every normal conversation shall end with questions like: WHEN ARE YOU SETTLING DOWN? It makes me want to answer: WHY? DO YOU THINK I AM CREATING A BIG MESS IN HERE? DO I LOOK LIKE A DUST THAT NEEDS TO SETTLE SOMEWHERE? Sometimes the question comes across nicely but oftentimes it is in fact VERY ANNOYING.

One of my college friends got married last week and few of my colleagues went crazy trying to figure out how they can make the bridal bouquet to land my precious hands. I think it was a cute effort but I couldn’t help question why on Earth they want me to get married??? However, for the sake of playing the game, I pretended that being the bouquet catcher was surreal. YES! I GOT THE BRIDAL BOUQUET AND I AM DOOMED! LOL!

Everybody in the room displayed a big smile. They were all delighted to see a happy and healthy couple on their mid-20’s trying to act the routine. I know my boyfriend was uneasy too… LOL! Poor spirit. An old man even winked at me sort of saying; “Go get married soon or else you will die an old maid with no one around except a couple of stinky cats."  

OH LORD! WHY ARE THEY PRESSURING ME??

Since I cannot explain to every single being who asks why a wonderful and beautiful and sexy lady like me (ahem!) stayed uncommitted up to no definite time; I decided to make an entry talking entirely about my points, reasons and thoughts about getting married and having children. 

  1.  What is the perfect age to get married? Maturity counts and someone who is not ready to commit her/his life wholly to another person and stick to the vow should never get married. Well, age doesn’t matter…preparedness is the key. I don’t want to raise a baby when I myself can’t take care of my needs well or look after my husband when I have so many things to cater first.

   2. Why do people marry? MALAY KO! Ask those who are married. However, I know the answer why people should never marry.

-never marry out of excitement. If ever I get married now my biggest reason probably would be to show off. LOL! I am just being honest here. See? This kind of thing is not really at my system yet because when I hear the word “MARRIAGE” all I could think of is a nice gown, wonderfully-made souvenirs, cinematographers to make a video worth of talking for the years to come. AND I WILL DEDICATE A MONTH-LONG EPISODE OF BLOG POSTS TALKING ABOUT HOW MY FIANCEE GOT APPROVED FOR FIVE DIFERENT BANK LOANS IN ORDER TO BUY ME A VERSACE WEDDING DRESS. That will be a hit!

-never marry someone in order to prove your love or to let your friends and family know that he’s already THE ONE. People usually get married to let the world acknowledge the ownership of one another and after a year or two the couple endlessly debate about never getting the chance again to go badminton alone or to sneak around some sexy college girls. Issues of emancipation are always on the table. THIS IS NEVER ENOUGH REASON FOR A LIFE-LONG PARTNERSHIP. I AM NOT IN FAVOR OF ANNULMENT AND DIVORCE hence I am preparing my path of no return super carefully.

-never marry just to make it easier to handle taxes or to have someone whom you can split the expenses. Do I need to elaborate further? I guess not.

-never get married just because of the fear of growing old alone. You will eventually grow old ALONE AND LONELY if you marry hastily. Sure I want someone to love me, to take care of me and brush my gray hair when I am old but that’s not enough reason to be worthy of the sacrament.

-never get married just so an old family member will be able to witness the “leap of faith”. This is a common scene in our community. “My great granMama is dying come let’s get married or else she won’t witness how pogi her grandDodong is gonna be on that day.” COMEEEE ONN! Give me a break!!!

-never get married just because everybody else is doing the same. Get over of peer pressure, will you?

  3.  So you say you will never ever get married? Ang kulet mo! Getting married in on my bucket list however I don’t see myself being committed anytime soon. NOT SOON… I am young and I think I still can accomplish great things in life without having some extra responsibility to take care of. I am already a parent to my parent plus a younger sibling since I am supporting them financially and I don’t think I can handle another big responsibility anytime soon. I don’t want to pass all the needs of the soon-to-be family to my soon-to-be husband. When I say soon that’s 5 years max… with the exemption of world war 3. In that case I might consider not marrying at all. 


4. Have you received any wedding proposal in your entire cynic life? YES! Thrice from three different guys. LOL! The more you say NO to a guy, the more they seem to need you. What’s wrong with them?

As much as I want to answer few more questions, I have an enrollment process to catch with. Yes, this is a big day… a start of a pre mid-life transition and it feels great to be able to start it with clearing out some things that people think I ought should be doing. I appreciate the concern guys and I do love you all, but trust me when I say that I am enjoying my life this way.. I have a wonderful boyfriend and If time permits… I will marry him in God’s TIME. 

Have a wonderful rainy Tuesday and thank you so much for always checking up on my Blog.